I remember as a child asking friends, “Do you think I’m weird?” I so didn’t want to be “weird.” Having grown up, I now KNOW that I’m weird, and it’s not so bad. I don’t even care. In fact it’s kind of fun. People, my friends, sometimes look at me questioningly with an expression on their faces that says, “What the heck?”
Even though, I can hide my weirdness and behave normally at any given moment, I’ve grown accustomed to being “weird.” We all know it – I’m out of the closet, my friends and family know, my students know, the neighbors probably know. It’s gotten to a point that I’ve forgotten all about being weird. (I sense that most runners are weird – just a hunch).
And then this morning . . . I woke at 4AM, drank two cups of coffee, surfed the internet. I made a Chia Fresca, packed, laced up my trail shoes. Then I got in my truck and headed toward the mountains for a 15 mile run out of Trabuco Canyon. I wanted to check on my water stashes.
I drove nearly an hour under darkness, paid money to drive the toll road. The sun had not yet risen when I reached the mouth of the canyon. I found the gravel road particularly dark and desolate. There’s usually headlights here and there when I drive it. I wasn’t looking forward to the off road portion when suddenly, and I mean in an instant I decided I didn’t want to be alone today. I could not bare loneliness. I did not hesitate one bit, or put another thought into it as I did a three-point turn and drove back out of the canyon. I took the toll toad home, and thought to myself, I AM SO WEIRD.
Back at home, everyone in the house was still asleep as I changed into some sleeping clothes and went back to bed.
This is my “running” story for today.
My husband said that I shouldn’t feel badly, that I should always go with my “gut” feeling. There was a reason, he said, that I got that feeling. He liked that I acted on it.
Who’s the weird one now?